Getting Started

Well I have to admit this. Ever since I started toying with the idea of blogging, my broadband went bust. And then when I finally did decide once for all that I WILL start blogging my computer too went bust. Phew!!!
Yesterday thankfully it was restored back in shape due to a very skillful and friendly neighborhood friend [paratuto bondhu].I came to know that he knows about the hardware stuff quite unexpectedly and needless to say I got my computer restored back the very same day. Yesterday marked one year of the day I joined my course of risk management in Hyderabad, and therefore I did want to collaborate the "anniversary" with the event of fulfilling a long planed thing.. yeah that’s blogging.
To start the blog indeed holds a lot of significance coz of the number of obstacles it faced so to speak. First with the debate on my mind of why do it at all, coz I anyways write a diary penning down my thoughts just to feel more lighter or maybe to help me streamline/iron out when there are too many voices in my mind[read confusion].when I did find the solution to this problem as in frankly speaking I did not find any logic telling me not to blog so I thought its best not to curtail a thing that I want so much god knows why, especially when there's no logic to stop me. The next obstacles came in the form of internet and the comp going bust sequentially. so when I finally found all the things just about ready, to start blogging and that it matched the other significant anniversary [I will just come to that] I thought it’s" the day" to start.
However as I was in the process of writing a post, the computer again went bust. I mean really!
So again my friend came to the rescue and here I’m doing the first thing after grabbing the comp lest any other misfortune befalls, and have the post ready.
I will just "start" from where I started yesterday and couldn’t finish it.
Well honestly 16 July 2007 marked the beginning of a new life for me away from home. No matter at what age u leave your home, your family and your hometown I suppose its always a mixed bag feeling of exhilaration, nostalgia and apprehension. I’m supposing that because I felt it. I remember it pretty vividly even now after a yr. and I don’t think that any other feeling can bee more natural than feeling nostalgic, apprehensive and an exhilarated feeling of freedom at last. I don’t think I ever knew what it was like to have a feeling that u would miss your own room, the color of the paint, the setting of the mirror, your own bed, your own study table and probably even your bathroom..Yes that’s correct; I really missed my bathroom too. in d last few days preceding my departure to another city I was heartbroken to leave the 'joints'” I frequented with friends, to leave park street and the restaurant’s, to not be able to see the lush greens of maidan, not to see new market. In short I was feeling the bong connection being strained if not broken.
Come on this was not the first time I was leaving the city. I leave it almost during every holiday for of course holidaying, and it wasn’t as if I was going to Hyderabad for a long time, it was for 8 months. But I was still having this very strong feeling. ya come to think of it every time I have left an institution I have left friends back to be just acquaintances with them later, considering how scattered we are pursuing our varied interests. Every time during farewell be it in school, college, university we all felt nostalgic but this strong nostalgia was very different. And really couldn’t place it logically except for thinking that maybe I knew I was going there to live all by myself away from the support system called family. I think I always knew that somewhere in my subconscious while I was leaving, to feel the strong apprehension and nostalgia. So strong were these two feelings that the happiness of getting the most awaited freedom was overshadowed!!
I think although this was in d subconscious-the fact of living all by myself in an unknown city, I could actually understand it the day I reached Hyderabad and my parents settled me in in a working woman's hostel, and asked me to spend the night there to get accustomed to it while they stayed in a room just across the street they had already booked a room where they could see me or more appropriately I could wave my hand.
That night looking at their lighted window it struck me real hard that the very next night I would be in d city all alone. I mean I now had them just near my reach, It was like what it used to be at home. We had separate rooms but we were pretty near to each other. But next night I wouldn’t have them and I WOULD have to face all situations by myself. I was 23 pretty old enough to take care of myself, used to taking care of myself too amidst the pampering and everything but THIS WAS apprehension bordering on fear.
I had to put a brave front to my parents, but I was really frightened. The only way I put aside my fears was to see whether I have the solutions in my mind to all possible worst scenarios that I conjured up. Coming up with the solutions as far as practicality entailed in thoughts some of my confidence came back. It got restored after two days of my parents going away and me managing everything smoothly.
But I must mention that a lot of things were made easier just because of my mom’s presence of mind. She had helped me or rather I had helped her rearrange my stuff in the room, and had managed that so well that it was very easy for me to maneuver around. It was so organized that it did not require time wastage to find the things. She had given 6000 Rs I remember in tenors and 50 notes for public transport .I had the accommodation fees ready for two months stacked in my cupboard and all my documents filed up. I really did not need to visit any store-medical/stationery/ATM/ anything for 2 whole months and by that time I had learnt so much about the new city that it really did not matter.
I’m not saying that people whose parents are not so thoughtful do not find their way out, or I’m not saying that had my mom not done it I would have been paralyzed. no nothing like that. But the gesture does give a lot of help psychologically. it helped me and so I wasn’t having to think about again to run errands apart from commuting to college in a new city without anybody from that campus living with me.
Although I need to keep a completely different post for my mom, which I will, sometime later, but for now its
Thank u mamoni for everything!!