Things i wanna do before I turn 30

learn Swimming.
Learn french.
Learn horse Riding.
Visit Louvre and Broadway
Do rock climbing and bungee jumping.
Visit all the historical sites in India
Go backpacking and explore scenic beauty in not so famous places which are unexplored.
Try all d cuisines in d world,without traveling to all those places.
Go to the Disney world and GC
Extensively tour Europe.
Visit at least one national sanctuary and check wild life there.
I can think of only these ,for now.I will keep adding when I remember others or have more desires

In jaane tu..they showed d hero's mom lying down in a sofa,reading abook.The son comes back late in the night after a party,whistling.The mom says hoton pe seeti,chaal mein ucchal..maanjha kya hain...
wow pretty cool!!!!!
I wonder which sensible ,educated, liberated indian mom is ever so cool especially when it comes to their daughters?????

Hopeless Hope....well almost

I was always asked this question…what is my ideal match? I guess the definition always changed as I kept “growing up”. I mean few years back I thought the guy should be able to excel in whatever is possible.[read:acads,singing,,photography,artistic talents,sports,games horse racing,moonwalking,you name it]but common, now I know firstly it isn’t possible.(draupadi got 5 husbands ,for God to satisfy all the qualities that she desired in her partner. That was then, And the number was 5.i can’t even imagine what it would be now, phew!!]And secondly if “my man” were to be all that, I would be toooo ordinary. Big risk actually.
So now after a lot of “analysis”, I have come to a conclusion.
I am absolutely sure that I totally like the farhan akhtar/prateek babbar image.[I’m more used to the farhan image].this is one image that I liked when I first saw him giving interviews for ‘dch’,and then as a judge as in Nach Balliye and I still like him now, without actually seeing rock on posters.
Actually I think I saw prateek in jaane tu and it reminded me of the image of farhan
So I’m sure I like that look, except for the passion in films, in my guy, but of course. That sheer intelligence, articulate and sensitive bloke thing with a whacky sense of humor….
So if I were to list the essential qualities it would be (in no particular order)
· Understated …be it cool or handsome or anything. It should be essentially understated.
· Smart, stylish and suave.
· Intelligent and bright and knowledgeable
· Articulate ,Quick wit, sometimes whacky
· Must essentially read
· Should share similar interests and tastes
· Must be enthusiastic about our dissimilarities and encourage participation, mine for him and vice-versa
· Preferably from the finance field...[ahem]
· Creative pursuits as a hobby appreciated
· considerate and sensitive
· sensuous
· should believe in mutual respect, loyalty and trust
· And of course should just truly, deeply, madly deeply believe it that I’m the best thing that happened to him.{lol).

I’m still in search of this elusive guy. Looks like a difficult search, really

Monsoons

I don’t like rains. I hate monsoons. The rains after a day of blistering heat is the only kind of rain I welcome. What is it about rains that is supposed to be the epitome of a romantic moment, strangely even without a partner. Getting wet in the rains is supposed to give this once in a life time experience, or so is told. But why don’t I like it at all? Infact I hate it. I just don’t seem to see what d hullabaloo is all about?
For one, if I’m out and it rains, and if I’m not with an umbrella, which is er almost always I’m apprehensive that I will catch a cold. The auto or the rickshaw will be charging more, and definitely get me half wet despite that.
My jeans will weigh a ton, my t shirt clinging to my body making feel embarrassed and cold coz there never is that filmy hero round when the clothes are sticking to you. You only half cat calls and wolf whistles, pretty unnerving, really.
The dupatta in case ur wearing a salwar never ever flies so melodramatically like it does on T.V.it sort of flutters clumsily and rests on you with a thud as though telling you its your fault that you caused the rains.
Rainy days make me feel gloomy.khichuri and begun bhaja notwithstanding I do not like rains. No not even if it opens a roop tera mastana kind of erotic moment.
SAWAN MEIN LAG GAYI AAG….my foot!!

INSTROSPECTING!!

I recently read someone’s blog and it was written there in a very poetic language that as she’s staring out of the window, all that she thinks about is when will that future come that will relieve her of the present she is living. In other words, she was desperately waiting for the future, in the hope that her present misery goes off. And then she was also afraid what if the future never comes-the future that she specifically wants doesn’t materialize.
Pretty thought provoking I must say.
Depressing too..Isn’t it? Living in the hope that someday you lead a better life, and you just hope that, that hope just doesn’t diminish….
I remember living that way for sometime in 2002 to be precise. I had done badly in my 12th, got into a college that was not counted among the academic greats, but obviously. The saving grace was being able to study economics-a coveted subject, but at that point of time I was the only girl from south Kolkata and one of the very few with English medium background and the only student from isc ,in the college. I don’t know why not being able to fit in was such a big deal then. I mean of course I was friendly to the rest and so were they but somewhere I was dissatisfied. The whole Bengali medium north Kolkata culture thing got me down and in my tuitions I was deliberately making friends in the tuitions to hep south Kolkata people. I did not even fit in there. Weekend parties, club hoping, pub culture and all that were pretty infeasible then. Plus if and when I did participate I was so lonely.
My self esteem was at its worst. I had this constant guilt factor weighing me down, that I was the culprit behind all this misery-if only I had studied in my 12th.plus there was this constant foray of relatives and so called well wishers with there ever present list of suggestions and advices.
I was aghast. I really remember being disgusted with myself, losing confidence, having bouts of self pity, and in other words having a severe identity crisis.
I wanted to be someone else, not myself. The only problem was I did not know who was the person I wanted to be..Or rather what type I wanted top fit in like hand in gloves….
When in 2003 that phase passed over, I was glad. Slowly I came in sync with my real self. I realized it was okay to be dissatisfied with your performance. That you actually don’t have to live the present in a blur for that elusive future to come in[read:results,here],that it was okay to like something in someone else and have the urge to do it, and that you don’t have to beat yourself up if your innate nature doesn’t allow the change. That people are such that they will criticize you when you fail, and if you succeed being whatever you are, like exactly what you were before, when you did not succed,for whatever the reason, everything of yours-the same things then become good or maybe they keep their traps shut.
I understood that feeling guilty and being miserable is not very helpful. I learnt to dissect the reason behind the guilt and work upon it, being sure not to repeat it, at least not in the same way.[;)]I really learnt that not being perfect even in your own mind scale, and yet being happy is very much possible.
And boy does success change people around you or what? Most of the lessons that I learnt in human relations were during this period.
Given a choice I would never ever want to experience that feeling again, but I’m glad I did experience it.
Really so.

damn!!!

Man…. I hate this!!!I did not blog for 21 whole days, and I don’t know why all forces of nature have to conspire against me when I want to blog so badly????
My phone is outta order. Result: my internet is dysfunctional
Shit shit shit …damn!!!
So much for Paulo Coelho and the alchemist…nature conspires if you want something badly enough.
All hoaxes
Bloody hell!!!
Now the net is back, and I will blog with vengeance……………aarrggghump!!

EMBARASSMENTS GALORE

Its actually been a week since I posted my last blog..{Or is it blogged my last post?}.But in any case 7 days is quite a lot. No wonder when I was at my cousin's I was wondering what was it that I was missing, such that my day seemed incomplete!!!, somewhere, amidst all the 24*7 fun.Right now I’m feeling a little low. For no apparent reasons as such. But as I’m writing this I can figure out some reasons which might be responsible for Makin me feel low. Let me list them first and then maybe I will cross them one by one, and hope after the exercise that I start feeling (un)low.I woke up today at 12:15 noon. This has been continuing for a while.im perhaps awake since 9 am, but feel lethargic to get up. My parents are dead against me missing my breakfast, and have given up after trying all tactics to wake me up. It’s been 3 months actually ...goshso now they don’t tell me anything much. I woke up at 12:15,and no one is "talking" to me as such, except the necessary stuff [:(]I am feeling guilty about 2 faux paus(or was it 3?) that I did very confidently at my cousin's place .not that it had any repercussions so to speak but nonetheless it's giving me a feeling of embarrassment.Shit how could I? Where were my brains? Damn!!!Oh yes and then there was this queen of misunderstanding created by jhimps, me and our respected grandma’s. A white lie was told to her grandma to keep her from worrying. But my grandma called hers [they are sis in law's].she chose exactly that day to catch up. And the lie came out. And we were caught. Now our respected families always thought, we don’t lie, so the guessing game was on.So we were questioned by our families. Since we lied for a good cause it was forgiven.
But I don’t know why I had to call at her place the next day, to talk to her mom? There was no need really. So naturally aunt questioned me too.yeah she could have just let it be, but obviously the event was pretty fresh. So I was questioned again!!!I must admit that when I was questioned it was embarrasing.ok I had the answer. And I was being honest. They too did not have hard feelings Nevertheless it was humiliatingly embarrassing.im sure jhimps would feel it too, if my mom questioned her.
Only if I hadn’t called!!So I guess I was down coz all of the embarrassments added up. Now I feel light againyippee!!!...[writing is therapeutic, indeed]