The broken promise

Waves crashing on the shore,
Clear blue sky,
Soft sand,
Orange sun
Can feel the salt in the air.
Yes you'd better go now
Time's running out
The cars whizz past the waiting cab
The cab driver looking on nonchalently-
He doesn't mind the meter running
But wait.... Did you not promise?...
Sigh!!
Anyway don't bother.Just leave
The wine glass tumbles and breaks into pieces..
Wait-leave the pieces here.
Just leave..will you?

I absolutely detest it when things I don't want to care about begin to bother me.And by things I also mean people.I hate it when people who mean nothing to me technically suddenly start to affect me with their most nonsensical actions.Why the hell should my mind not allowed to be free?why should I miss unwanted ,uncaring people?why must I be affected with what they do(or they don't) and what they say (or don't)?
Absolutely ridiculous it is when you actually miss them,when there is no need to,when you are sure you don't really "like" them and its all time pass in any case.
what is with this hope and expectation?shucks man time to re-engineer myself ASAP

passion

He could feel her hands on his arms, pulling him closer to her.They were two very different people aimlessly wandering about in the back streets of Bari Gottic in Barcelona. Going in and out of mazes of cobblestoned streets filled with people, the smell of tapas bars, of smoked ham and sangria, and coronita. In this weird concoction of smells and sights, the only smell he could recognise was the Nina Ricci she was wearing, the only sight he could see was the sad smile on her lips.



He didn’t know how she was feeling. As usual, she was being secretive.



He was blabbering like a fool, talking about things which did not matter.



He saw her peering into a shop, which made really exquisite knick-knacks, some where the usual machine produced Gaudi impersonated touristy souvenirs. Some were genuine creations. And she liked something. He liked the way her eyes suddenly brightened up , and then she smiled. A beautiful smile. It was as though She forgot everything at that moment, only the thing that she likes is on her mind, making her happy, making her want it.He is amazed to see the quick change in her face.The varied emotions in a flick of a minute.



She knows she can’t take it back. A slight disappointment, but she enjoyed having it in her hands for three seconds. To have felt it, she would carry the feeling with her all her life. He saw her slowly moving back her hair, behind her ears and looking at a small scale wireframe version of a motorcycle. He saw her eyes searching through the knick-knacks. Taking each of them slowly, as if registering all these things in her memories.



Sometimes He wonders why does he like her so much?He has no answers.



As they stroll on, she comes and holds his hand. She grasps it rather and they start to aimlessly walk again. He sees a small alleyway and leads her into it. She is still trying to make sure he is all right. He throws down the bag and grabs her by the shoulders and pushes her against a wall. She has no resistance. She looks into his eyes, what does he see? He doesn’t know. He get confused. He can’t understand her eyes. He can’t understand what she wants him to tell. He looks at her, she looks afraid, she looks sad. Her eyes are pleading, but for what? Pleading for what?He looks at her. He wants to hold her, smell her, he wants to make her his, he wants her to belong to him, he wants her to lovehim with abandon.

The same selfish old him and the things that he wanted.



And there she was standing, trying to comfort him, trying to be his support, again and again, trying to do everything herself. Trying to be strong.



It’s all in the mind she says. True, everything is in the mind. Make it like the sea, unwavering and unending. He looks at her; he can only look at her. He realizes so many things at the same time.



She hugs him, and they are two people stuck in time forever. Barcelona flows around them, colours and music, moving in an unhurried pace, just like waves lapping the seashore. Reality is a bit further away from them. Just like the hustle and bustle of the city. They break their embrace and start walking towards the main road. Suddenly she pushes and hugs him again. He hugs her back; she is so close to him. It feels like nothing can come between them, nothing, not even the heaven themselves, it feels nothing can take her away from him, not even the illusion themselves.



But isn’t that an illusion in itself. But at that moment time had stopped. Barcelona came to a standstill. He could hear, her heart beat, the small breathe escaping her lips, her eyelids flutter, her hair brushed slightly by the slow moving breeze, her hand tightening the grip on his finger, and her body weight slowly falling on him. He could feel her, slowly mixing into his consciousness, slowly breaking the mould and then.... and then it goes in an instant. She looks up, He meets her gaze.


They break their embrace and start walking towards the hustle and bustle, the colours and contours, the sangria and tapas, the Gaudi and Guello of Barcelona.

Exorcising the ghost

Something catches my eye..manages to catch my fancy..charms me..mesmerizes me..wriggles into my thoughts..captures my mind,my imagination..becomes my world..I'm in a daze..mentation engulfs me..I hate myself for being unable to exert my will...but its a torrent that's overpowering me...my well wishers implore me to take charge..my rational mind beseeches me not to lose my bearings.But everything falls on deaf ears.The heart has decided to have a mind of its own..

I'm patient like never before.I tolerate.I analyze.I analyze again...and again...and again.I speculate,I imagine,I ruminate,I discuss,i go over the same things yet again.

I have been possessed by the devil it seems..

Then came a ripple..a slight,fragile one..nothing out of the ordinary.But this time it rakes up a storm-a huge gigantic storm,in the mind.

The glass shatters and breaks and opens my eyes..all the inconsistencies,the fakeness-its right there..logic returns back like the prodigal son..the devil flees..

The storm subsides quite suddenly..but not before the picture is clear and I have become resolute.Its done its job with precision.Everything is over.It has destroyed the link to my dazed world.

Something has snapped and its never going to be the same again.I revel at my new found joy.The freedom is what I find charming.I'm bacK to the world I love,with my feet firmly on the ground and worry far far away

:)

The sun is just rising in the eastern sky...The grass feels soft and wet...A child dreams of butterflies,..there is magic in the air!

Promise

My father always tells me that I should give my best in whatever I choose to do.He tells me that its my duty to do my best in my endeavors and not worry about the outcome.
Today as I officially hit the wrong side of twenty all the philosophy suddenly begins to make sense.All this time,I have practically lived with a perpetual guilt of always procrastinating and never having given my all in the things I care about,in the things I want to do.
And likewise after every outcome irrespective of good and bad,I have been left wondering if things would have been different had I given my best.
People think I'm lucky.Perhaps I'm,because despite my insincerity things have not really gone terribly wrong so far.
But I think enough is enough.Today as I turn 26,I'm making a promise to myself that I shall be sincere in everything I undertake-leave no stone unturned in my efforts to achieve excellence in whatever I pursue.
Would I be disappointed if I don't achieve the outcome I'm looking for? sure I will
but its going to be a lot better than bearing the guilt of not having given enough.
Its my job to do my best.And I shall do my job.
Amen

Rainbow

A clear blue sky,a crimson moment
A purple patch in yellow memories
A dark brown stain in the white satin sheets
And green ink spilled on a a notebook that is neat

Scarlet romances wrapped in pink bedsheets
Grey hangovers post winy liquids
Orange mornings in a maroon mood
Growls of Azure hunger met with peach bland food

Turquoise dreams breaking before lilac dawn,
The violet orchid in a chrome vase
Magenta hopes against jaded reality
And finally a wait for coral days at the end of bistre evenings