Few days back,someone offended me "thoroughly",right to my core.,so much so that it hurt.My self esteem took a very strong beating,and this was the first time,somebody not so important could achieve this.I'm not saying that the person has become very important to me now,he hasn't. However the appalling bit of it all is,he offended me without resorting to words.My normal reaction to offense is anger and nastiness but this time i was startled and then it wounded my vanity.
I was thoroughly shaken up.But instead of being angry and being defensive I actually am thankful to him,for making me realize that I was being rather complacent and was losing my objective.Come to think of it,I was in fact losing my momentum,losing my track,and was being disoriented,getting all lost in the momentary frivolities.
Now I'm back with a bang,all set to pursue my interests to the maximum possible level,and now i realize there is so much left to do.But I'm enjoying it,and the fact that I"m not wasting my time in frivolities,rather I'm utilizing it constructively is making me feel good about myself,and is doing wonders to heal my wounded vanity and self esteem. :)
I will never forgive the person.I will always be offended by him,be it in person or his memory.but simultaneously I will always be grateful to him for making me realize my folly of wasting my time and not using it constructively to pursue my intersts in an avid manner.
what an irony,i shall detest the man and yet be grateful to him.
alas!!
